How to get ready to date again after having kids..
Being a single parent in the dating world can be tricky. As well as taking your own needs into account, you also need to think about your children. Will you meet someone they like? Are your children ready to see you with a new partner? Don’t let anxious feelings about what may or may not happen start taking over your life. The truth is, if you are ready to date, then you deserve to find love. Dating as a single parent is possible, and these tips are here to help you get ready to face the challenge head-on.
Explore new places
Have you gotten to the point where you feel like it is impossible to meet any single people through your work or social life? The playground is unlikely to be filled with contenders, and your local soft play area doesn’t fare much better. If you feel like there is no one in your existing network and striking up conversations with strangers isn’t your thing, then it might be time to start looking in new places. Avoid anywhere kid-centric because both your mind and that of the other single parents will likely be taken up by watching over the little ones.
Instead, make some time for yourself and seek out places where you are likely to meet people of similar age and maybe even someone with a mutual interest. This could be a weekly class at your local gym, a language course, volunteering (foodbank, school, political events, etc.), running club, a wine tasting event, the allotment, the tennis club, etc. And keep your eyes peeled: Your soulmate could be on your daily commute, live in your neighbourhood or frequent the same supermarket.
If you take the plunge and start going to new places, you are sure to meet new people who share the same or similar interests. Sometimes, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can help boost your confidence, and if there is one trait that is certainly attractive to the other gender, it’s confidence.
Try single parent dating
If you don’t have time or the patience to discover new places as a way of meeting your soulmate, and the thought of an awkward blind date or meeting someone down at your local bar no longer sounds appealing, then that’s totally ok. After all, when you are a single parent time is precious, and you want to spend as much of that with your kids. This should not mean that you will never meet that special someone.
Online dating has grown in popularity over the years and has become a great way to meet someone without having to commit to a face-to-face date straight away. There are even single parent dating sites and apps where you can meet like-minded individuals who are also single mums or single dads. Finding single parent dating and other niche sites, has been made a lot easier with the help of dating review sites, such as Dating Hive. These evaluate dating sites relevant to British singles with serious intentions and singles who just want some company. If you want to find the right dating site, they are certainly a place to go as they have a plethora of reviews for you to read.
Build up your confidence
Jumping straight back into the dating world can be truly nerve-wracking. Many single parents feel like their confidence has been knocked after separation or divorce. They have usually been in a long-term relationship and that means they have been out of the dating game for a while. However, neither lack of practice nor fragile self-esteem should hold you back from trying to meet a new partner. If you don’t feel confident right now, find ways to improve your self-esteem before you get back on the dating scene.
There is lots of advice online about how you can improve your confidence . Most importantly, you need to remind yourself of your self-worth. What is special about you, what are your talents and what do your friends treasure about you? Are you kind, passionate, witty, independent, or well-travelled? There are bound to be sides to you that you have forgotten about when putting your children first. Remind yourself of the skills you have gained through your relationship and through parenthood, think about what is interesting about you, and what you have learned since dating in your twenties. You will realise that you are a much more intriguing and multi-faceted person now than the confident 20-something-year-old you were then. So, get out there, build your confidence back up and try a few dates. The more you venture out, the more you will re-discover yourself, your strengths, and your confidence. And confident people are more attractive, more balanced, and more positive – essential traits for a successful relationship.
Make time for dating
Life as a single parent can be challenging at the best of times and the complexities of family life can easily get in the way of dating. Time is scarce when you have children to look after, but instead of admitting defeat, try to fit your dating life around your lifestyle. Try to arrange a lunch date whilst the kids are at school, for example, or make it a breakfast date once you’ve dropped them off in the morning. This may not sound quite as romantic as a candle lit dinner, but it will give you the opportunity to vet your date without employing a babysitter. You can still go for that candle lit dinner once you are sure he is worth your precious time!
Of course, it might feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day, especially when you are a working parent, but if you genuinely want to find your soulmate, you will have to make time for dating. Just make sure you don’t make the usual single parent dating mistakes: Be honest about your kids, get your priorities right, and don’t rush into things, to name but a few.
Of course, just because you are a parent, doesn’t mean you have to date another parent. It’s time to start being a bit more open-minded. Has someone asked you out who is single and has no children? Did you catch yourself wondering why they were on their own and had never been married? Or why they don’t have kids “at their age”? Or did you think you won’t fit into their lifestyle, or they won’t fit into yours? Whether it’s prejudice or not, be more open-minded, and you might be surprised!
Whether you are trying to get back on the dating scene or just looking for a bit of fun after a breakup, we hope that these steps will help you get back out there with new confidence. You are worthy of love just like everyone else. Never think that people will not judge you or think less of you because you are a single parent. Let’s face it – you are not alone in this. There are another 2.9 million single mums and dads in the UK. People have children, and sometimes they split up. Being a single parent doesn’t define who you are. It’s a part of you, but only one part – you are so much more!